One of those

 


This is another one of those posts: a first post. Gosh, it's been what feels like years since I posted on this blog. And even more years since I printed it out with the intent of closing the blog - because blogs are for juveniles who take themselves too seriously, right? I don't really know or care anymore what people think of me. I just need an outlet.

What does one write about these days, anyway? Now that I lean over the threshold of this post, all my thoughts leave my mind. What began with an intention to shine the light of truth on world events suddenly is rendered impermanent on the canvass of my thoughts, like leaves before the violent and annoying blast of a gas powered leaf blower. What is a mind of such genius as mine to do before this disarming pale screen? 

Okay, yes, I'm being a little sarcastic. But really, what is to be done? When I write of important things in the world, I'm never satisfied, much the same way I enjoy other people's photography much more than my own. In fact, may people enjoy or appreciate the artwork of other people, perhaps because one's self is the most scrutinizing and harsh critic of one's own work. I don't like to critique my own work, so does this drive me toward a more frivolous work? Or does it drive me toward more inner reflection? I think the latter, which may be why I hate my posts on this blog the least; they reflect a more authentic voice that comes out of my head, one less concerned with the world, and more concerned with what is within my sphere of influence: my own life. 

The logical result is that these posts become less resembling of persuasive essays and more resembling of journal entries. This introduces another conundrum: who in the world would want their private life online (or, as I like to say, "on the line")? Nobody but narcissists. But maybe there are things that are relating to a more inner and personal perspective that are more elemental and, consequently, very relatable to the reader, but at the same time not just journal entries. Sometimes, we have to distill things down to the root of the philosophy, below the actual experience, to understand the universally applicable principle, no?

Perhaps, but perhaps not. On one hand this could all be the beginnings of something very profound. On the other hand, it could just be the ramblings of a sleep-deprived lunatic in his pajamas with one eye on a baby monitor. I'll let you decide. Goodnight!


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