Either the smoke is clearing, or this is the onset of premature grumpy old man syndrome.

Sometimes (or maybe not) when we look back on life there are the moments when we can see the smoke clearing from the battlefield, and everything that has occurred in this day of life is revealed in the light of the sun. Why do I say "battlefield"? I say it because that's what life is, isn't it? We are in a constant struggle to obtain some sort of purpose, some ideal end to this world of dust. We put all our efforts to tear down the things that are an evil to our purpose, but we forget sometimes that perfection cannot be created from this gritty material of mortal life. The science of alchemy proved to be hopeless to achieve it's ends, but somehow we think that we can change the stuff of which our world is made into something higher in nature. You can't make gold out of lead (well, not stable gold).

What do I see now that the smoke vanishes into the wind? I see desolation. I see the rotted fruits of times past, the empty gaze of the survivors who once held such brightness in their eager eyes. Nobody has anything to say because they're all thinking the same thing anyway. We did everything right. The enemy lay lifeless on the green field, and water trickles through the adjacent creek, though now a few of the dead release their own red life into this artery of the earth.

You become dizzy. The horizon tilts and you suddenly feel blades of grass on your face. The survivors are gone, and so are the dead. There was never anybody else in the fight, just you. The preceding strife and destruction only destroyed yourself.

I spent years in high school being only quasi-outgoing. Never did sports; never played in the band; never really did much. The three or so years preceding this previous year, I really tried to be outgoing. It worked. I made lots of friends. Most of them have moved on down the road of life. Some of them don't bother to say hello when they pass (perhaps I should say hello too, but they're the ones not making eye contact). Some there are that have always been friends, and they always will be to me. That part doesn't really change. Time apart doesn't change it, and station in life doesn't change it. When times of reuniting come, all is well.

This doesn't seem to be going into any specific direction, so I'll just say what I came to say. I think we burn ourselves out socially. We try so hard to become who we think will get us what we want in life. Sometimes, we feel like we have to destroy things that get in our way, but we ultimately find that we've only destroyed parts of ourselves. Evening hits, and we see the long shadows of our ambition lying on the ground, but we are alone to behold the scene. In the end alone. The same shallow people that you tried to impress fled when it was apparent that you could not sustain the effort. I see these kids get all excited and confident because they're doing what they think they're supposed to be doing. They have validation of their life. But that validation fades. That validation is mortal. That validation is meaningless.

The only validation we need comes from He who is better than the substance of this world. He is the Great Alchemist. He turns us into gold. The excitement of the world and the social scene will fade. Facebook statuses and "tweets" will be forgotten with time. Fads are forgotten before they are known. There are few things that are steady and certain, but those that can be so categorized are unequivocally so.